I know most of you must be thinking that there is something wrong with the writer when he addresses ‘Pain’ as a support for life. But I am sure after reading this article your perspective towards pain will change. Also before we start talking about pain, it’s very important to distinguish between the ‘Pain’ and ‘Suffering’ because for most of the people suffering is the pain which is not true.
Pain: It may be defined as an unpleasant physical sensation caused by an injury or illness. So the very nature of pain is such that it is physical in nature. Nobody can ever cause you mental pain. Yes, people are capable of causing mental suffering but pain can be caused only by the things which are physical in nature.
Suffering: When you make something negative out of certain circumstances then we say the person is suffering. Suffering can be both at the level of physicality as well as mental. For e.g Let’s say you broke your leg, and now you are not able to walk properly and there is a lot of pain. In such a situation the suffering comes from the physical pain. In another scenario let’s say there is a person whom you don’t like and he is abusing you and doing something which is not a pleasant experience for you, then that kind of suffering is known as the mental suffering.
So if you observe your life carefully, you will see that pain is natural i.e whenever any undesired physical action happens to your physical body, you feel pain. So when it comes to pain, you don’t have a choice. But if we look at the nature of suffering, it is always our choice. Which means every moment we can make this conscious choice that no matter what happens to our life, we will not let that situation make us suffer. So what we mean to say is that suffering is our own making. If we choose we can never let our self-suffer in any situation. But if you want such level of awareness then you need to work on a lot of aspects of your life, but this is achievable, it simply needs perseverance.
Why people suffer: The only and only reason people suffer in their lives is that they are not able to handle their body and mind properly. Which means there is a lot of friction between the two. When there is friction in life, then ‘Suffering’ is natural. Let’s understand it like this. Suppose you have a brand new super luxurious car. But you have not lubricated the engine. Now if you drive such a car, what will happen? The car will break down in few minutes. No matter how expensive and luxurious the car is, if you do not lubricate different parts of the engine, it will not survive. Now same things are happening to human beings. This human mechanism is one of the most intelligent & sophisticated mechanisms on this planet earth, but because the necessary lubrication is missing in life, every now and then people just burst out and lose their control. Which leads to immense suffering.
Let me ask you a question when was the last time that somebody physically abused you. I understand and know that exceptions are there, but I would say for 95 percent of the people the suffering is mental suffering, not the physical one. Now out of those 95 percent, there are only 4 to 5 percent cases where the reasons are genetic and they can’t help it, but rest of the people are on self-help. Which means just about anything can make them suffer. Let’s look at our day to day life. If you don’t get your bed tea on time, you will shout at your family and cause suffering, if you don’t get to see your favorite channel; you suffer, If your parents don’t give you a stylish bike; you suffer, If you have a job; you suffer, If your boss shouts at you; you suffer, If your girlfriend or boyfriend don’t reply to your message; you suffer and even the worst case is, when you are not doing anything; you simply suffer. The only and only reason for such suffering is the compulsive behavior.
We are not doing something because it is required, we are doing something because you can’t live without doing it. Is it not a kind of slavery? If you observe your life situation carefully you will see that you have made a slave out of yourself. It’s like you made four walls around you to make you feel safe, but you forgot to build a door and now you are trapped inside it. There is no way out. So when you build such walls make sure that you keep sufficient doors so that you don’t get stuck inside. What it implies is that don’t become a slave to anything in your life. Compulsiveness leads to entanglement as I have already mentioned. Only when you perform your actions consciously, you will be able to come out of this poison of compulsiveness. The real freedom in life is that you are able to do what you want to do and it should be a conscious action.
How pain is life oriented?: I know it sounds silly & uncanny when we say pain is life oriented, but if you pay attention you will realize the same. Only because you feel pain in your body, you try to preserve it and take utmost care. Let me ask you a simple question: Why do you cut your hair or nails? The fundamental reason is that you don’t feel the pain while doing it. If we didn’t have the pain in other parts of our body, I am sure today’s generation might have experimented with it in so many different ways, for which we already have started seeing examples specifically in western countries. People there, especially the young lot are obsessed with their physical appearance and they are ready to go to any extent to make them look good. The plastic surgeries are very common and it has begun to happen in India as well.
But no matter how much changes you bring to your body at a physical level, you can only do it to a particular extent i.e to the point where you can withstand the pain. Which clearly shows that people are so unconscious that they are ready to kill themselves for a temporary pomp and show, but since we have the pain, it will never let us cross the limit. So we should be thankful for the pain. It’s ironical that people are not surviving because they are conscious, people are surviving because they feel pain. But you look from any perspective, the pain will always work as a life-supporting factor for you.
So no matter whatever situation we live in, we might feel the pain sometimes, but whether you suffer that pain or not is 100 percent your choice. And as I have already mentioned that suffering due to physical pain is only 2-3 percent, that means it is very rare. But rest 95 percent suffering which we see in the world is all psychological. That means most of the people are on self-help, they do not need anybody’s help to make them miserable.
How to get rid of suffering: There is just one rule which you need to remember and that is ‘Taking charge of your life’. People have wrong notions when they hear this sentence. So let me clarify what it means when we say taking charge of life. It simply means that whatever is happening within you is being decided by you. As we have already discussed this and I will say it again that whatever experience you go through in life it is essentially generated from within. So if the seat of experience is within, then who should determine what should be the experience. The obvious answer is: It should be you. Whatever is happening on the outside, you can control it only up to a certain extent, depending upon the life situations and position of power you hold, but what happens within you is all your choice. Suppose you reach the level where you have fully taken charge of your life, I am sure you will always choose the highest level of pleasantness for you. What you want for someone else can be questionable, but for your own self, you will choose utmost pleasantness.
Once you make decisions from within without giving a damn to the outside situations, this would be the end of suffering in your life.
I hope you must have enjoyed reading this article realizing the importance of pain. Also, I am sure it will help you to get rid of your suffering which you go through in your normal day to day life situations.
Happy Reading 🙂
very well written Kapil. I buy your point “Suffering is self born, only attitude can kill it”. But in this world of glittering diamonds, we are forced to shine even if we are fugazy. Its so tough to attain so much of self control. Please do write about how to control this thirst of getting drenched in money sprinkles.Thanks.
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Thanks Navneet for your suggestion. I will surely write on the suggested topic and share it with you and everyone else!
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Dear You always make me feel that our experiences are typical and we can solve them in a constructive way . Very well said ‘Its ironical that people are not surviving because they are conscious, people are surviving because they feel pain’. The positive aspect of pain is enlightening. I must say our attitude and our reaction give us the direction.
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Well ✒ penned👌👍
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Thanks a lot Ms. Eliza
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Yr welcome…🙂🤗😇
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